&- 10:43 pm
wow.. people can REALLLY surprise you.
like...
wow.
hah...
I,alone
&- 10:02 am
ever realised how much of more of an effect loss has as compared to gain??
I,alone
&- 1:08 pm
back to the old me!
i like it.
and in response to the previous post.. i'm going with 'practical'.
I,alone
&- 3:19 pm
if (in my heart) i know i want something, but i mentally psych myself into expecting the complete opposite..is that being pessimistic?
or practical?
I,alone
&- 2:54 pm
just one of those shitty days, ya know?
Not sure what the problem is..or how it even hit me. not that anything bad has happened to me since i woke up this morning. its strange.probably something floating around my sub-conscious that's got me all edgy.
who am i kidding.
i think i know what it is.
but i dont want it to be the reason. not when i know that are many perfectly logical reasons for THAT REASON to be happening and be as such.
lost you there?
don't worry.
welcome to my world.
But this is what i do when i'm angry/pissed off/bothered/upset.
Step 1 : isolate myself (preferably in my own room)
Step 2: blast heavy metal on my ipod and lie on my bed.
Step 3:after about 30 mins, get up. go to my table. blog/tweet/talk to someone/write in my diary.
Step4: read previous blog/diary posts.
Step5: gradually find myself changing to softer,much more melodic classical/jazz music.
Step6:start feeling a LITTLE better.
Yeah I know..music choice is a reflection of what's going in your head. but what amazes me, is that throughout this entire process, i show no emotions or signs that i'm even going through the above. a housemate/ family member can walk in and see me at anypoint in time, and think i'm feeling A-Ok. Is that a good thing? i'm not too sure...
But i realise.. the most important/signficant step in this entire process..is step 4 : reading previous blog and diary entries. Why? because it connects you with your past self. You see other situations where you felt equally (or maybe even more) pissed/upset and you realise...'hey..i got over that'. you see the 'happier' posts and you realise.. 'yeah..those were some good times'. more importantly..it reminds you of who you are. what and who matters to you. what and who has always been there for you in your life. and just who you are as a person. and that's when you realise..
'i'm alright'.
and just like that.... happy songs become acceptable again.
I,alone