&- 11:50 pm
blogspot is so annoying. takes so bloody long just to get to this page
anyway, SCHOOL'S OUT! FINALLY! but in jc, that actually means, revision's in and so i'll have to start studying like crazy for BT2. you have no idea how scared i am for it. i NEEEEEEED to do 10000% times better than BT1. gosh i hope i can do it.
but howdo i do that when dance takes up like 85% of my time! i admit, last year.. i didn't really bother trying to study in between dance breaks. but now that i NEED and WANT to study, i CAN"T! cuz i spend all my breaks trying to choreograph steps or do blocking! this means that i really only have 2 weeks to study for my BT2. 2 weeks to studying 1 and a half years worth of stuff. wow.
but STILL..i choose to go out. after dance, met up with mok where we tried at least 3 different cinemas to see if they had tickets for pirates. but, to no avail. so oh well. we ended up having dinner at subway and sat down infront of that big screen in lido where we talked for about 2 hours! bloody hell! but it was a pretty good sharing session. we REALLY spoke about everything under the sun. and it was a good de-stresser after such a hectic/stressful/depressing term. but what cheered me up the most was this advert for time magazine. (i think) hehe. so cute.
so ya. got back bout an hour ago. i shall read 1984 before i go to sleep. i have to start with revision somewhere! oh! did i mention, we got our 'saints on stage' shirt. it's supposed to be a parallel to the 'team sajc' shirt. but i think they just gave us one to shut us up for our incessant complaining about CCA inequality. its nice and all that. but i get the feeling that it was designed in 2 minutes.
i think i bettter get off the com before i start watching more 'little britain' episodes. haha. i love that show. cracks me up all the time. just as much as the tune of the car horn in 'the dukes of hazzard'.
(note to veekay: wheeeeeere are we..... LONDON LONDON LONDON be going down now)
thanks veeks for all the help you've given me in choreographing the item. you're my muse. my inspiration!)
I,alone
&- 8:16 pm
so i'm currently reading the book "The devil and miss prym" by Paulo Coelho and i have to say that this is one book that has REALLLY intrigued me. basically, its about how human beings struggle between good and bad especially when it comes to chasing our dreams and being true to ourselves.
here's a couple of lines from the book that i think are SO true.
"..... there were two things that prevented us from achieving our dreams: believing them to be impossible or seeing those dreams made possible by some sudden turn of the wheel of fortune, when you least expected it. For at that moment, all our fears suddenly surface: the fear of setting off along a road heading who knows where, the fear of a life full of new challenges, the fear of losing for ever everything that is familiar."
deep shit eh? but i really like the underlying concept; how our fear of change stops us from fulfilling our greatest desires. which brings me to my next quote from my one and only linkin park.
"some times i think of letting go and never looking back
and never moving forward so, there'd never be a past"
(Easier to run)
i would sit down and write down an analysis on these quotes and their relevance to my life (as an attempt to showcase the lit-student side of me) but i really don't have the time too. So here's all i have to say. i don't want to grow up. i don't want to lose what i have now. i don't want to be disappointed. i don't want things to change.
too bad i'll have to.
I,alone
&- 11:54 pm
its literally 6 minutes to midnight....
get it? heh.
I,alone
&- 4:02 pm
i know the album releases tomorrow, but i couldn't resist. haha. i heard two more minutes to midnight songs, 'bleed it out' and 'given up'. man. LP's sound is soooooo different. yet they still know how to sound good. so yeah, out of the 2, i actually like bleed it out SLIGHTLY better. but i can totally relate to the lyrics of the latter, so. here it is.
Linkin Park - Given up
Wake in a sweat again
Another day's been laid to waste
In my disgrace
Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape
I'm my own worst enemy
[chorus]
I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say
Take this all the way
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the f*ck is wrong
With me
[end chorus]
I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but Im scared
I'm not prepared
I hyperventilate
Looking for help somehow somewhere
And no one cares
I'm my own worst enemy
[chorus]
I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say
Take this all the way
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the f*ck is wrong
With me
[end chorus]
[bridge]
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my
Put me out of my f*cking misery
[end bridge]
[chorus]
I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say
Take this all the way
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the f*ck is wrong
With me
[end chorus]
can't wait for tomorrrow!!!!!!! been waiting for it for almost 4 years now.
I,alone
&- 12:42 am
i like being emotionally numb.
it makes life soooooo much easier.
I,alone
&- 2:42 pm
i got this email from miss sabrina ann paul entitled 'what tree are you'. it's so cool, cuz their description of you is SUPER true!!! it worked for me, my sister, and her boyfriend.
so apparently i'm a chestnut tree. this is what it says.
Chestnut tree (the Honesty)
Of unusual stature, impressive, well-developed sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born diplomat, can be easily irritated, sensitive of others feelings, hard worker, sometimes acts superior, feels not understood at times, fiercely family oriented, very loyal in love, physically fit.
haha. if you knew me well enough, you'd be shocked at how truly reflective this is of me. the thing that cracked me up the most was the last one. physically fit. HA! which is why i screwed up my 2.4..*sigh* i never went through so much pain while running before. but its the last time i'll ever have to do this, and i refuse to break my gold streak. so for the first time ever, i'm actually going to push myself. i need this. for myself.
but on a happier note, i had lots of fun yesterday. (so much for i'll start studying my ass off...) went for 2 parties yesterday. kris' one was fun (i actually challenged mok at pool. ha. he says i won him but we all know he's just being nice), but the other one was just alcohol-filled!!!! it felt good to be so high again. it takes your mind off EVERYTHING! manda and i kept laughing and smiling for no reason. haha. but at least i FELT happy for once. got back at 4, and i'm still tired!!! and i've got to go to clark quay tonight. good luck to me. week 8's about to begin!
I,alone