&- 7:47 pm
Am i disappointed with the 'gold' we got for SYF? not really. i mean, i was kind of expecting it, so when we were told the results, it didn't really come as a shock to me. Of course, deep down i was hoping for the 'honours' part to come out, but still. it could have been a 'silver' or something. so GOLD is GOOD enough for me!
strange. in IJ, we screamed out heads off when we got 'gold' for our SYFs in 03 and 05. But then again, we weren't expected to maintain 'gold with honours' or anything, so that made it easier for us. i found people's reactions to the news of our results rather amusing. they'd be like 'congrats!' but then they'd give us this smile of sympathy or something since we all know that they were expecting us to get the 'gold with honours'. but i'm not going to compare ourselves to our seniors because there's almost no common basis of comparison. The music, the judges and alot of other things were VERY different from their year. i'm not trying to say that we had it harder or anything. i'm just saying, don't compare us to our seniors. The one thing that i CAN take pride in, is knowing that our dance actually made people FEEL something. Apparently, a couple of audience members started tearing when they watched our dance. How many gold with honours schools can say that about their dance? so yeah. i'm PROUD OF YOU SAJC DANCE SOCIETY!
in my honest opinioin, (and no, i'm not giving excuses for a lousy performance because according to everyone, our dance was pretty good) i think we just didn't have what the judges were looking for. Looking at the schools who got their honours, i'd say the judges were looking for dances that were either super artistic or abstract. i shall not mention names, but there's this ONE particular school whom we all thought was just WIERD but they got their freaking gold with honours! i mean seriously. when we watched them dance, we were laughing pretty hard cuz we couldn't figure out what the bleeding hell they were trying to do! but schools like RJ, VJ, and Hwa Chong defintely deserved theirs. no qualms about that.
so now that SYF is over, RAPTURE practices will officially begin. 12 weeks. how we're going to do an entire production in 12 weeks, i don't know, but i just know that i'm going to be working my ass off till July. Good luck to me man. At the same time, i have to find a way to PULL my grades back up. Good bye social life!
People told me J2 life was hard but no one said it ripped you off any form of happiness! its amazing how numbed i've become to all the disappointments i've had to experience this year. I think my already low self-confidence has reached a negative value. Yes meenal, i know. 'Think positive campaign'. i'm trying, but each successive disappointment makes it harder to do so.
The only thing that's preventing my disintegration into a million pieces is, my friends.I really don't know what i'd do without them.
>Vera,Jiayi,Hannah. - Thanks for all the prayers and for REALLY BEING with me through thick and thin.
>Mok - ma homie "m to the ok"! Thanks for the transformer and DVD. and heroes. and all the strawberry limes you buy for me whenever i'm down.
>Amanda - PANDA! thanks for being my pillow to hug.
>Veekay and Kris - For making dance bearable and fun with all your retarded shit.
of course, angelina lourdes. thank you for being there. just as you have always been these past 7 and a half years.
my gosh this post is long and emo. its amazing how much i've digressed. haha. oh well. i'm in the mood. so let me! you probably won't be hearing from me for the next 3 months.Labels: gold
I,alone
&- 8:49 pm
can't believe SYF is going to be over. but once that's done with, there's still RAPTURE! i'm so proud of veekay and myself. we have actually choreographed two eights so far! that's an achievement! now all we gotta do is come up with another like, 20 something more? that's all!oh! i watched 'phantom of the opera' on thursday night. it was REALLY good! True, the opera singing DID prevent you from understanding what they were trying to say, but STILL! it was good. at least we could still understand the plot. but what really impressed me were the sets. They were simply AMAZING!!!!! i have never ever ever ever seen such magnificant sets. there's this one part, which is supposed to be a river scene, and so they flood the entire stage with smoke, and the 2 characters pretend to be rowing a boat. BUT! i swear it looks SOOOOO realistic. like they were really moving across a foggy lake. it was just sooo gorgeous. so yeah. it was definitely worth that hundred over dollars.haha. i have such a peculiar family. guess where we went after the show? St James Power Station! who in the right mind goes to a club with their PARENTS on a school night??? haha. yeah. and to think that we were there till 2am!!!!!!!! so, i was kinda too exhausted to get up for sports day the next day. besides, i had hives. heh heh. but i DO feel bad for missing out on my class's marathon thing. not like i would have made a difference any way.
alrighty. i gotta get back to mixing music for miss angelina lourdes before i go up and do lit.i hate poetry comparison. i mean, what's the point in comparing 2 different poems. let each poet write however he wants to write! man. ( PS ) whoever wants to come for rapture, please start giving me your money soon. 2 shows : $18 for the afternoon, and $20 for the night. mind you, we may have 2 shows but the total number of seats for both still doesn't match up to one night at the esplanade, so do hurry!
I,alone
&- 8:47 pm
3 MORE DAYS!
I,alone
&- 11:08 pm
guess what. i STILL haven't received my full BT results yet. but i JUST passed my physical geog section (which i was totally banking on) so yeah. what is there to look forward to? i'm just gonna fail human geog anyway.
apparently msp is off. but still, that drop from 51 points at promos to about 20 plus (if i'm lucky) is not very consoling..especially after seeing how well freaks like lynette lim have done in theirs... 70 plus points. BLOODY HELL!
i was soooooo not in a good mood today. its not so much my results. no idea what it is, but was totally restless and agitated during the course of the day. i guess you could call it frustration with myself? or just the events of the past few weeks...i needed something to vent this frustration on!!! so i've turned to one of my 'best friends'. music.currently listening to a band called soulfly with all that screaming or what my mum would call 'a racket' blasting in my ears. but that's what i like about metal.. somehow or rather, all that angst just makes you feel better. at least, it does for me. i HEARD the new lp album is supposedly abit more heavy?? i don't know. hope it is. cuz i'll be needing ALOT more of such music to last me through the year.and i heard something about 'minutes to midnight' being their last album? i'll kill them if it is. linkin park has been my most favouritestestest band since forever so they can't do this to me! oh well.
damn it. there's PE tomorrrow. i HATE running. come to think of it, i hate anything that involves the use of energy. other than dance that is. haha. shit i'm lazy. so its actually quite shocking that people have told me that i've lost weight. or rather,that i'm beginning to look sunken. but then again, my appetite has miraculously shrunk by half.. so that kinda explains alot. what's wrong with me! i think i'm becoming anorexic!
alrighty. i've got 'pride and prejudice' to read by thursday, so i better get started. here's to yet another long and gruelling week...
I,alone
&- 12:28 am
check this out. i copied it wholesale outta miss lourdes' blog.
bo we have a problem.
Angelina Maryanne Lourdes =23
Keisha Nameera Srinivasan= 23
Jaya Mani Jaya Sambo +Meenal Ramlingam = 32
Yesterday + Bridge Over Troubled Water =32
Jane + Julie + Bo + Meenal + Krangs= 23
now how? shall we get bitten by a dog, buy a book only to discover that we wrote it later and lose our minds killing slutty women in the process?
or just wear our caps and look damn cool?
i bet your wondering why we're so 23-obsessed right now. haha. well the 2 of us went to watch 'the number 23' yesterday. gosh. its amazing what an effect these kinds of movie can have on you. i spent the whole ride home calculating every car's license plates numbers.. and at least 5 had 23 in them! and here's the best part..Angelina and I are turning 23 in 5 years time. scary SHIT!
haha. i'm a bit high right now. liverpool just won 2-1 against reading. :) but hey. since its one of the few things that can actually make me happy, why not let it. at least it'll keep me sane. that and linkin park. 14 may is SO FAR AWAY!
alrighty then.i shall go do something productive now. like sleep.
I,alone
&- 1:03 am
Good friday. This day never fails to make me reflect on myself and feel bad for all my wrong doings this past year. but this time around, it was alot easier for me to feel that pinch cuz my mind would perpetually shift back to my BT1 results which in turn would lead me to a total state of depression. it sounds dumb, and a little too overdramatic, but its true.
i spoke to miss hon about my econs yesterday (speaking of which, i got that U i was expecting. i think i was the only moron in class who burst out laughing upon getting my results back). ANYWAY, she told me that i had to do MORE than memorize the lecture notes and i had to make sure i manage my time alot better. mind you, this isn't the first time i've been told this, so why the hell aren't i following through with this advice???
one of the reasons why i'm feeling so bummed about the results, is that i really had high expectations of myself. especially since i studided alot more for the BT than either common tests or promos last year. i guess that only proves one thing.. that studying hard does NOT necessarily mean studying smart. so i've made a list of the stuff i need to work on for BT2
- TIME MANAGEMENT!
- How to analyse questions correctly so as to actually ANSWER them correctly
- (for lit) SIGNIFICANCE!!!!!
- i'm definitely gonna need math tuition since i've got one HELLUVA lousy teacher.
- my general knowledge..gosh i'm ignorant of everything outside my little world.
let's see if i follow through with this. if i do, i may just reward myself with something. like a new phone!! (or maybe i'll beg daddy to do so. heh) either way, i'm gonna MAKE SURE i study smart this time around.
on a happier note, liverpool has won 2 games so far (4-1 to arsenal. ha! and 3-0 to PSV) also, i finally met miss angelina lourdes after 487038472345 years. that's always fun. oh! and i bought a cap for myself! :) this is the first article of clothing that i've bought for myself in months!!!!
there's dance tomorrow.. urgh. 3 MORE WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
damn.i need more to cheer myself up and restore my confidence.
I WANT MY HOLIDAY!
I,alone
&- 7:23 pm
how dumb. so all i needed to do to get back into my blogger account, was to use another computer. ha. told you i had a stupid computer.
anyway, j2 life so far has been absolutely horrible.gosh i can't wait to get this year over and done with. YET, i don't wanna leave SAJC. I've grown too accustomed to seeing A5,the dancers, my homies and my JY etcs everyday.. it sucks knowing that i won't be able to see half of them after this year.okok. i digress. i have too many problems at hand right now to think of such things..
BT1s were just DISGUSTINGLY BAD! I haven't gotten back much, but so far i've gotten U for math, and E for lit! i was about 3 marks away from a sub pass for the former (and had like 93847923b careless mistakes) and i ACTUALLy did better for miss k's papers than miss chua's! shocking. either way, i'm still angry at myself cuz i had really high hopes for it! i'm SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER disappointed in myself right now. especially since i worked so damn bloody hard for it. i mean, 7 hours of non stop study at coffee bean is impressive shit! i was under severe depression for a while,but thanks to my bigly, i'm out of it. (seriously vera chua ting ru..thank you, and i LOVE YOU LIKE CRAZY!!!!!!)i've decided i'm gonna have to accept whatever i get.. and just make sure i work my way up from there. Even if it means MSP..
SYF is this month. THIS MONTH! and i'm completely terrified. and of course, rapture rehearsals are starting soon... I'll be stepping down in about 3 months, but that's starting to seem like a loonnngg time. i shall no dwell further into this subject, cuz i have a feeling it would bring me back to depression mode..
alright. i shall end here for my 'update' cuz i've got quite alot of stuff to do. besides, if i stay here any longer i'm gonna end up having hives all over!! man i hate my house..its a total breeding grounds for these damn mosquitoes.
I,alone