bleeding it out

&- 11:03 pm

you know what. i've decided. screw block test 2. i'm just gonna focus on prelims and a levels. no, that doesn't mean i'm gonna slack for BT2. i'm just not gonna stress out about the results no matter how bad they may turn out.

been studying at coffee bean with kris, veekay and occasionally mok at either j8 or gardens the past few days. pretty productive. i guess. but still, not enough to gain my confidence. anyhow. we decided, change is good. so we decided to study at the airport today!!!! that place has such good memories.brought back lots of memories of my past holidays. and i decided to give mok and veeks a lesson on aeroplanes and such. or at least, what ever i knew about it.

speaking of memories, my current song of the moment is so because it brings back memories of my good ol days as a small kid. strangely, this is one oldies song i've never heard before until recently, but still. there's something about the melody or the tune that gives me that sense of nostalgia. its not even the lyrics. hmm.. go figure. anyway, here it is..

In my life - John Lennon and Paul McCartney

There are places I remember

all my life, though some have changed.

Some forever, not for better.

And some have gone, and some remain.

All these places have their moments

with lovers and friends I still can't recall.

Some are dead and some are living.

In my life I love them all.

But of all these friends and lovers,

there is no one compares with you.

And these memories lose their meaning

when I think of love as something new.

Though I know I'll never ever lose affection

for people and things that went before,

I know I'll often stop and think about them.

In my life I love you more.

Though I know I'll never ever lose affection

for people and things that went before,

I know I'll often stop and think of them.

But in my life I loved you more.

I love you more.I love you more.

so yeah. that's my song of the moment. WELL. time to go back to studying. 5 months....

I,alone

&- 1:16 am

It's like poker/ you can play your best
But you gotta know when to fold your cards and take a rest
And know when to hold your cards/ hold you breath and
Hope that nobody else is stacking the deck/because
I don't need to tell you that life isn't fair
It doesn't care/
It arbitrarily cuts off your air
And like you/ I want someone to say its okay
In the truest parts of our hearts everybody's afraid
We're just underappreciated and overwhelmed
Fighting so hard to hide our fear that we're scaring ourselves
You understand what i'm saying/ cuz you always did
But its different in the words of a cowardly kid
who said

Slip out the back before they know you were there
And at the worst you'll see nobody cares
Cuz you don't wanna be around when it all goes down
Even heroes know when to be scared.

"slip out the back' by fort minor.

My econs teacher gave me a wake-up call a couple of days ago. Effectively, we only have 3 months to A levels.

3 months

someone help me find my exit please.

I,alone

&- 6:34 am

oh my goodness. 2nd week of holidays is almost up. AHHHHH!!!! and what have i studied so far?? less than 1/10th of everything i need to know!

*&#$(*&#(*#$^(*#$&!)(#$!^$!#&!)#^!*@&#_$!(#^$)*$&~!_@~$*^

I,alone