bleeding it out

&- 1:10 am

So, just got back from SAJC's dance night.."rapture". it was goooooooooooood. omg. i am sooooo dyin to go to SA. really. hopefully, this pushes me to work super hard. prelims are in less than a bloody months time!! so yeah. met mabal,bev,andrea,vk,jo,nor at PS,pizza hut. took this super crowded bus to kallang theatre.could tell that pracatically everyone in the bus were goin for the show cuz they all had flowers in their hands. yeah. so. watched the show. the hip hop was alright. actually, i don't quite like their hip hop. it's too girly cum bimbotic cum slutty. i like the'boom boom',u got served, type hip hop. *sigh*. so yeah. hopefully, they start doin that type of hip hop.yeah.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhh. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!..VJ did a guest performance, and their dance was the SYF DANCE! I LUV I LUV I LUV!! Majorly fell in luv with it when i first watched it a few months back. was super duperly happy that i got to watch it again today. sigh. oh yeah. SA did their syf piece too.really good. yeah. whole show was pretty alright. oh yeah. they had spanish dance too! very interesting. yeah. corinne is gooood.. veryy verry good. If only i could dance like her. really versatile. anyway. yeah.

after the show, andrea's dad gave mabel n i a lift to toa payoh mrt station. went to macs. mabel used her points thingy. so we both got free meals!!! (excluding the drink). yeah. so. two of us sat down n talked. i love mabel. can talk about anything n everything with her. that's why she's my lil sister!!! haha. yeah. so. left macs at like 11.30. she waited with me until my bus came. took the bus back. met my sis at the bus stop, n then the two of us walked back together.

yeah. so, after she told me bout the going-ons in her life, i came here to blog! haha. yeah. that's it. gotta go sleep now. gotta start studying like no body's business tmr onwards. no distractions!.

btw. my bro's done with the hp book. said it's good. yeah. but unfortunately, i'm not gonnna have the time, and i don't wanna use too much of my time, reading the book. maybe 1 chapter a day? haha. oh well. sacrifices.....

I,alone

&- 7:46 pm

i'm pissed off right now. no idea why. i just am. yeah. maybe it's the fact that every single bloody jc in singapore is lowering their admission point thingy by like 1000000000. hahha.ok.maybe not that much.but seriously. we had a talk by brother paul frm CJC today. goodnesss. he says he's planning to bring CJ's points down to 11!!!!! like what in the world! that's almost the same as SA's! that is, if SA doesn't bring their's any lower..but i've got a strange feeling...they will. oh gooodnessss. So bloooody annoyinnnngggg!!!! And i'm getting freaked out like hell,cuz prelims are like..a month away! or less.yeah. less that a month. AND I AM SO NOT PREPARED!!!!!!!!!!! I signed up for night study, but i've yet to go for any yet. thinkin of goin tomorrow night. yeah. to seee if i can study any better there. cuz there have been a helllluva lotta distractions in my hse lately..more than usual. Normally i'm able to shut those distractions out..but... dunno what's happened to me. *sigh*. yeah.oh yes. My beautiful brother bought the harry potter 6 book...so yeah. but for some reason i'm not exactly dyingg to read it. It's not like the 5th book, where i was like..readin it 15 hrs a day. Partly cuz my brother brings it to his school everyday..hehe. anyway. ya. heard malfoy's a total assshole though..wanna see what happens.

so yeah.okokok. gonna go down n watch one tree hill. more distractions comin my way!!

I,alone

&- 5:18 pm

Good Charlotte - Hold on

This world
This world is cold
But you don't
You don't have to go
You're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely, and no one seems to care
Your mother's gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bear

But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know

Your days
You say they're way too long
And your nights
You can't sleep at all
Hold on
And you're not sure what you're waiting for, but you don't want to know more
And you're not sure what you're looking for, but you don't want to know more

But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking, you're one step closer
Don't stop searching, it's not over
Hold on

What are you looking for?
What are you waiting for?
Do you know what you're doing to me?
Go ahead...What are you waiting for?

Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking, you're one step closer
Don't stop searching, it's not over
Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Hold on

I,alone

&- 4:50 pm

Yeah. Accounts tuition was prettty alright.omg. the guy is damn funny. i swear..he kept on pickin up my pencil and goin..'eh.this not my blue pen'.haha. at least 5 times! ahahha.yeah. so watched minority report in the evening. good movie. steven spielberg...waddaya expect? yeah.

so school today was pretty alright. Mrs tan didn't come, so we had free period. We were supposed to do our geog wb, but, like no one had their book.so, one girl went to go photostat the pages, and only came back like 5 minutes before the period ended.yeah. after that was double tamil..which meant TWO FREE PERIODS!!!! NO MORE TAMIL LESSSONS!!!! i hope. yeah. so. feline abandoned me. she's my 'partner' again... since we're sitting in register order now. so i was alone for 5 whole periods!! but it was alright...omg. so bloooody maluatinnggggggg. during english, we were all reading the newspapers, and all of a sudden, Mrs Alex goes..'Keisha, your mum's here.' oh goodness. Of course the whole class started watching n stuff.. so mrs alex had to shooo her away. yeah.

so both my parents were in the car in the end. of course i start talkin non-stop... but they seemed kinda quiet..n stuff. so i decided to be quiet too. later on, i found out why. THey had just gone for their friend's funeral thing.. yeah. so that's why they were all solemn n stuff...felt quite bad actually. yeah.

omg. i swear i'm gonnne die soon. as in LITERALLY die. There have been so many signs recently, i'm just waiting for the moment to come. first of all, everytime i dream, and alot of times when pple dream ABOUT me, i end up dying. Secondly, Angelina named a lobster, and then a phantom fish after me. And BOTH DIED!!!! like within a matter of days! And remember i was just talkin about my parents' friend who died? guess what. her name is KEISHA!WHAT THE HELLLLL!!!!!!! okok. i'm being paranoid. whateva. but seroiusly...u may never know.

I,alone

&- 9:24 am

ok, i'm just blogging for the sake of blogging. waiting for my tuition teacher to come. my first accounts tuition!! also, the first time in a looooooong time i'm havin tuition for a subject other than tamil! yeah. speakin of which, IT'S FINALLY OVER!!!! MOTHER TONGUE O LEVELS ARE OVER!! i hope. i swear, i'll just kill myself if i fail it, cuz then i'll have to sit for the exam again in november..and i REALLY DO NOT WANT TO DO THAT!! yeah.

Our listening exam was on friday. it wasn't that bad. hopefully i can get at least 8. 2 of my answers were different from the tamil-smart people.so yeah.that ain't too bad i guess. oh yeah. exam was at like 5. bloody hell. we had to wait for such a long time. so, we went to united square's food court to have lunch. came back at like 3. slacked in susa's classroom. went up to the 4/1 classroom at like 4.15.slacked smmore.dunno what we were laughin so much about.yeah.the invigilator kept changin the position of the radio, for god knows what reason. listened to stupid hindi songs for like 45 minutes. i was sitting right infront of the damn radio, so,it was more like blaring in my ear.yeap. i kinda noticed that there was like, another channel playin in the background.very very faint sound. so, told the teachers. managed to convince them to play the cd in the end. it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much clearer. i really don't understand why they just can't give each school a cd each. it is soooo much better.oh well.

yeah. yesterday didn't do much. in the night, watched 'parent trap' on disney channel, and then 'remember the titans' on channel 5. nice show.slept at 1 ish.

Woke up at like 6.15ish today. went for 7am mass. yeah. had breakfast there n stuff...prata! yeah. spent about an hour talkin to this guy..my mum n dad's friend. came back at 9ish. woke my sis up...but she's gone back to sleepp..stupid bum.yeah. okok.i'm like super sleeepy..dunno why. kinda falling asleep durin mass. ahaha. the music blaring in my ear is all that's keeepin me awake. i swear, i'm the only idiot on this planet, who will come back from church and listen to slipknot and marilyn manson.hahaha. oh well. shall go prepare for accounts tuition.

I,alone

&- 11:03 pm

My favouritest-test song at the moment..

Limp Bizkit - The Story

[Verse 1]
Just live and let die

Check, check, check, comon

If you could take a minute of your life
A certain minute when you feel the lightning strike
Danger is the only level of that moment
But it's your moment and you know you'll fucking own it.
Glorified in the grace by your victory
When your done, you escape without memory
Blindfolded through this life as we learn
And consequences when the wrong pages turn

[Chorus]
It's an E! true hollywood story
Take a man down with his own glory
Now guess who's next

[Verse 2]
At some point we come down from the highs
It's no big deal we move on with our lives
And some of us let the last color cries
Do the math, you can laugh when I die
If life is just a fantasy life then could you
Live this fantasy life for soemthing would you
Just remember that the doors are not closable
And the mother fucking heroes are disposable

[Chorus 2x]
It's an E! true hollywood story
Take a man down with his own glory
Now guess who's next

[Refrain]
Just live and let die
just live an let
just live and let
just live and let die

Just live and let die
just live an let
just live and let

[Bridge]
so what about the hardcore that ain't hard anymore
or the shit talkers who ain't shit anymore
or the old fighters that can't fight anymore
or the white kid's who ain't white any more
or the actors that don't act anymore
or the rappers that don't rap anymore
or the hipsters that don't hip anymore
or the limpsters that don't limip anymore

[Refrain]
Just live and let die
just live an let
just live and let
just live and let die

Just live and let die
just live an let
just live and let

[Refrain 2]
but no
it's impossible
just to live your live your life
and let us die
oh mother fuck that
you wanna talk about some shit
let's talk about

[Bridge 2]
the hardcore that ain't hard anymore
or the shit talkers who ain't shit anymore
or the old fighters that can't fight anymore
or the white kid's who ain't white any more
or the actors that can't act anymore
or the rappers that can't rap anymore
or the hipsters that can't hip anymore
or the limpsters that can't limp anymore

[Chorus 2x]
It's an E! true hollywood story
Take a man down with his own glory
Now guess who's next

I,alone

&- 5:58 pm

So, i went for the Good Charlotte, Noise to the world concert last night. and this is all i have to say...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahha.yeap.omg.it was like....BLOOODY NICE!! Damn gooood. i swear. We were standing like..super close to the stage somemore. like, 3 rows away!? yeah. managed to snap some pretty good shots...with my phone.yeah. omg. BILLLY MARTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahhahaha. yeah. i was damn pissed off. Cuz everytime he came to our side of the stage, the stupid lights would either go off, or, start flashing. damn hard to take any picture of him!The one person i wanted to take pic of the most!initially, regretted movin to the other side, cuz billy was on the other side..hahaha...yeah. But in the end, was glad we did. cuz GUESS WHAT!!!!!!!JOEL CAME DOWN TO OUR SIDE OF THE CROWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And of course, angelina n i, being the idiots we are, startin tryin our best to snap a shot of him, instead of reachin out to him.hahahah. damn smart la. yeah. it's good..cuz i got like.. a super good( well, good enough) shot of him. yeah. erm. so yeah.

i swear... the bloody crowd was CRAZY!!!! The first song was, the anthem, and they were pushin like mad. by the first chorus, i lost one side of my slipper. So, for the rest of the song i was screamin at the top of my voice...'where the hell is my SLIPPPERRR!!' haha. found it in the end. but lost my hand barang though. sobz. the one angelina gave me frm malaysia some more. yeah. anyway. all was good. i knew almost all the songs, except for the ones from the young and the hopeless cd...but kinda tempted to buy that cd now..hehe. so yeah.

oh yeah. forgot to tell you bout what happened before the concert. so. vera started queing up at like.. 4.30ish.Thank goodness she did. the que was freakin long! Angelina n i met her at like 5.40.hehhe. yeah. anyway. oh yeah. there were these 2 ang mo guys infront of us. as we were movin forward, to give our ticket, the stupid pple a the back kept pushin. so yeah. i kept bumping into the two guys. Angelina was in love with one of them..so i was like..' duncha wish u were in my position right now?' hahhaa. yeah. good times. vera tried to smuggle her camera in, but couldn't.Heaven knows how the other pple managed to get theirs' in. hmm.yeah. so. we got a pretty good spot...after movin 3 times. but, some stupid tall dude was like, infront, blockin half the crowd.

so.we got inside at around 7.30ish. concert started like...815?? 15 minutes late!! yeah. So. after a while, knowin me, started getting all claustraphobic.. also cuz i was like DAMNNNN hungry. So, started gettin all giddy n stuff. losin my balance more than usual..(which is sayin alot)yeah. vera n angelina were super scared!! hahah. but i knew i'd be fine once the concert began, cuz it'd get my mind off the crowd. yeah. and i was right!! so yeah. concert was excellent. a girl who used to be in my dance class came to talk to me DURING the show. She was like..'your keisha right?' and i'm like..'oh no. who are you?!' hahah. my memory is so blooody bad i swear. yeah. Benji is so full of shit. but funny la. kept on talkin bout how he's gonnnna marry singapore. bet he does that in all the countries. yeah

oh yA!!!!!!!! Vera caught half the drummer's stick! he kinda broke it in two ( or it broke while he was playing) and threw it, and vera caught it! lucky ass!! everyone was like, glarin at her. hahah. but then i was like, 'vera, u do know that this drummer isn't in the band right?' and she was like,'shuddup!! at least he played with them!' hehe.too bad. wasn't able to lose my voice. sadness. hmm.

when it was over, angelina n i started walkin around. cuz we didn't need to collect any bags..we didn't even bring any. smart move. really. yeah. so. we found this whole crowd gathered at the side. found out that they were givin free posters!! we ran there. but couldn't get any. sad sad. later on, we were kinda standing at the side of these barricades..dunno why also. yeah. so. this other guy comes out and gives mORE POSTERS! iwas SOOO happy cuz i was SOOOO sure he was gonnna pass one to me. guess what. HE DOESN"T!!!!!!!!!!! THE BLOOODY ASSSHOLE SKIPPED ME, AND WENT STRAIGHT ON TO THE GIRL NEXT TO ME!!!!!!! URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! was damnnnn pissed. yeah. my mum brought me home...after she dropped angelina off. sigh.goood day. yeah. really was. full of bad luck, but...stilll goood. sigh..*smiles*

i'm actually happpy.yay.

I,alone

&- 5:21 pm

I took this shot when joel came close up. good eh?? haha.

I,alone

&- 11:54 pm

well. sab's back in singapore. stupid bum refused to tell me when she was comin back. so, when i saw her in the school canteen on thursday, i was like, 'what in the world!!'.haha.yeah. it was good. she brought nice chocolates n chips for us to try! haha. yeah. salt and vinegar chips aren't that bad! anyway. yeah. that was thursday. didn't have dance practice in the end

on friday, after school, met sab and brought her over to my place. slacked. watched tv the whole day! yeah. watched the past few OC episodes... and animal planet. it's actually quite exciting you know. it really is! anyway. yeah. in the evening, watched Harry Potter 3.Asked my sis to rent the dvd for me, together with a few others. yeah. actually, we wanted to watch cat in the hat, but then, the cd couldn't be played. In the end, thanks to my...magical touch.. we managed to play the harry potter dvd. i wanted to change it back to cat in the hat, but my bro n sis were like, NO! don't touch it! scully it screws up again. so. fine. we watched it. whole time, we were criticizin it..haha. fun.yeah. slept at 2ish??

In the mornin, managed to convince my mum to let us watch cat in the hat..which worked...I'm tellin u...it's MY TOUCH la! hahah. okok. kiddin. so yeah. in the afternoon, made my way to school. practised once or twice before headin to sentosa. did our make up n stuff. performed at 7ish. after the show, sab stayed with me while my mum brought my maid to watch the funny water fountain show. had dinnner at the funny funny food court place.yeah

omg. i'm feeelin so damn blooody lazy. god knows why. Which explains why this entry is like...so vague. in a way. yeah. oh well. that's me.

I,alone

&- 6:00 pm

Omg. My tamil oral was yesterday. AHH! That's all i can say. Really. I dunno why, but i wasn't feeling scared, or confident. Just. emotionless. yeah. So we left class at like 1ish. Angelina n i went to get Belle from the office cuz the rest of the class was like, 'where's belle? where's belle?' but didn't get off their asses to ACTUALLY go and get her.yeah.took bus no. 56 to beatty secondary school.oh yeah. we had this mini hike or whateva to the bustop.quite fun.another near death experience.yeah.so.got there.had to go one HUGH round around the entire school to just enter the bloody school.what's the point in havin bloody side and back gates if their not even gonnna be open!!! yeah. so. went to the holding room. They lied to us. We thought we would be tested in the order that was on the paper outside the office. but they ended up goin by class! so that meant, we were one of the last few ones! yeah. so poor thing. poor belle couldn't find her wallet. she was about to go out for the 5 minute reading thing, but she couldn't find her IC. Which means that she didn't have anything to identify her as a candidate! so she wasn't allowed to take the exam. yeah. so. before the thingy, punitha was testing me n givin me points. Damn that girl is good. or rather, her maid is. Her maid wrote down all the points FOR her! blardie hell! If only my maid would do such things for me. Too bad she doesn't even understand a single thing that comes outta my mouth.yeah. so. yeah.my reading was pretty alright. and then came the conversation...AHHH!!

The first topic was about how husbands n wives should share the housework load. yeah. omg. for some reason, i just COULD NOT string my words together. keep startin my sentences OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!! yeah. initially, the examiner ( the nice one) was like,'do u understand the question?' and i'm like AHH!! haha. i did la. but i think, she figured i wasn't exactly PURE indian, so yeah. second was smth bout both parents workin. i think.hahahha. Dunno what crap i said. next one was about singaporeans goin for holidays. of course, all i stated was the obvious. so. Dun think i'm gonnna get much points for content. yeah. omg! For the first time in my life, i combined english and tamil..hahah..( fix - panna)hahha. i started laughin when i said that!!!! hahahha. yeah. oh yeah. there was this one part, where i was goin to say this word, but the word just slippped off my mind! so i made this wierd face, and both of them started laughing! MALU NESS!!!!!!!! omg. yeah

After that, followed punitha to me nish, pufi, happy man, and khomi. i was frikkin hungry. cuz i hadn't eaten anything since morning.so yeah.had kfc.It wasn't until after that, that it dawned on me how much i screwed up my tamil oral.speak about slow reaction! yeah. started feelin all crappy.nish asked me to go with her to lavender.didn't feel like it. came home.

MY MUMMY CAME BACK FROM SYDNEY!! sheesh. i think she bought like, half the clothes from auzzie before comin back.yeah. her bag weighed like...27kg?? that's almost half my weight! anyway. yeah. she was tellin us story..what happened durin her trip n all.yeah. fun.did bio in the night. went to sleep.

nothin much happened today. yeah. except for mrs chu's...you can say interesting...lesson.hhahahahha. i swear. that woman can totallly crack me up. seriously. but shall not say why. heheh. yeah
ok. supposed to do 6 page essay for lit!! goodness!! supposed to do it in 40 min! honestly, who can write that fast???? and think at the same time?!?! so yeah. i wrote like 5 pages..in like.. 1hr 45 minutes..hahahhahaha. yeah. ok. hand pain now. cannot type anymore.

I,alone

&- 11:48 pm

omg. i'm gettin more n more scared by the day. blooody tamil oral is on tuesday! AHHH!! Thank goodness tomorrow's a public holiday...( is it? or is it for youths only....hmm)yeah. one more day to try and make my tamil..not so bad. hopefully passable. *sigh* been doing tamil this whole weekend. goin thru some of the stuff susa ( my tamil teacher) gave us. Yeah. haha. the funniest is havin msn conversations with angelina..in tamil! hahah.seriously. i'm impressed.the ENTIRE conversation! Of course our sentences are phrased wrongly, and we're not exactly talkin bout anything relevant to the exam. but yeah. still good. for me. yeap. sigh

As always, i'm all alone at home. and people wonder why i'm such a loner. hmm.yeah. i'm so accustomed to bein all alone, i swear. It's so wierd havin more than 3 souls (not includin the cats') in the house. oh well.

Mabel asked me to go out tomorrow. i dunno la. I'm like SUPER scared for the oral! really! hmm.sigh. perfect timing. Just when my parents are away. Oh well. better make sacrifices now than later! *bleah*. hate this year.

I,alone

&- 1:58 pm

So.First week of school is over.yeah.wasn't that bad. i guess. My mum left for sydney with her sisters on tuesday. So yeah. Feels kinda wierd not havin her around. Oh yeah.Had youth day yesterday. Was alright i guess. haha. They had a disco in the hall.Thought it was rather retarded to have a disco at 10 in the morning. oh well. they kinda had this dance competition.And they signed me up!(i dun quite know who the they are) Yeah. both me and bev. It was quite funny.Once it was the sec 3s turn, all of us dancers who were signed up for the competition, chabotted to the toilet.haha.Later Bev n i ran to the lab for bio prac. When it was 4/8's turn, the guy was like, "Beverley Chow and Keisha (he pronounced my wrong.as always) from 4/8. WHere are they".hahaha.we were hidin away in the bio lab but we could hear him callin us frm the hall. The rest of our class tried to push us to the hall, but we refused.so after a while the guy gave up callin us.hahha.

Durin bio prac did some funny cucumber thingamajic. Dunno what crap meenal i were doin. seriously. anyway. left school at like 12.40ish? went to toa payoh mos. Ate. Yeah. Talked.crap.and sense. yeah. then went to look at a few cds in the cd shop. started reading the magazines there.Heavens. didn't realize how much time we spent there. seriously! left near 4pm. got home. yeah. did ss. then in the night watched smallvillle. tried to study for tamil..( MY ORAL EXAM IS IN 2 DAYS!! AHHHHHH!!!) But fell asleep. gave up.went to sleep.

woke up this morning at like 10.hehe. my dad wasn't home. went to play golf....him..not me. yeah. he wants to go exercise later.bleah. damn. i'm sooo unfit.

I,alone